I say this because I pulled off something that some other "mature" people might not be able to do.
My ex best friend came into my work today with her fiance and a mutual friend of ours. I took them as my last table of the night. Not only did I manage to exchange words with her and her fiance whom I hated a year ago (an honestly, still dislike), but I still did things that I would have done if we were still friends. I made her milk shake for her and made it with real ice cream instead of shake base and made sure her fries were fresh.
People keep telling me how terrible she looks. People say shes getting fat and that she looks miserable. I didnt see that tonight. She looked happy and talkative. maybe because Jake was with them, Im not sure. but even her fiance spoke to me and we talked about dropping food and spilling drinks, even had a little laugh about how its a good thing I only spilled water all over myself once rather than shakes or milk... It was all very civil.
I cant deny that i miss her more than anything. We were best friends for eight years, that obviously means more to me than it does to her.
I guess when it boils down to it, I dont think I fully realized the consequences of the tings I said about her fiance last summer. I guess in a perfect world, she would have cared about what I thought of him, she would have considered it, she wouldnt have started dating someone who was known to have an unreasonable hatred toward me. She wouldnt have cut me off like that.
I dont think I completely understood that I would lose her altogether.